When communicating and negotiating, every parent has a different style. There is a hard bargainer, collaborator, conflict avoider, and acoomodator. This theory appears motivated directly by the expert observations of the behavior of parents towards their children. There was a loud, always listen and work together, happy to avoid conflict, or even always follow the will of the child. Actually, each style has advantages and disadvantages of each. Here's the explanation:
1. Hard Bargainer
Characteristics:
* Type of hardware. If you have opinions and desires, he will defend vigorously.
* Forcing the will because of all the rules at home that he should make.
* Feeling if pendapatnyalah the most correct, most can manage.
* It's hard to listen to other people's opinions especially from children. If not listen, he would ask for good reason from the child.
* Nice to threaten and punish.
The positive side:
* The decision, whether it is instruction or rule can be made with a quick, decisive, and effective.
* The rules in the home can be enforced properly.
* Can trigger a child to train the pattern of thinking. Like asking a reason why he is doing something, the child will think hard to remember his parents express their opinions is difficult to be convinced. If he used to think looking for logical reasons, then he'll get used to creative thinking. Later, when negotiating, the child can reliably menajdi negotiator because he was trained to maintain pedapatnya with logical reasons.
The negative side:
* Children often do not have freedom of expression so that creativity stuck.
* Children who feel constrained to nurture nature to rebel, also feel depressed because of what the parents must be obeyed. Moreover, if the child down the nature of parents' hard bargainer, would often quarrel, because parents want their opinions unruly child conceived while. Commotion, noise that is not handled properly will make the relationship between parents and become strained.
2. Collaborator
Characteristics:
* Emphasizing cooperation. When there are goals to be achieved, parents taking children to come together to achieve goals together. When they would go on vacation, kids are invited to sit together to negotiate a place where the most fit to be the goal, so then decided which is best. In principle, consultation first, decide later.
* Be open with the existing problems. When deciding something, they always consider the wishes of children. Then, when a debate, parents remain focused on the interests and objectives.
The positive side:
* Children can a person who's open and warm to the problems they face, so that the parent-child communication can be established either.
* Relationships with children can be maintained.
* Children feel heard his opinion.
The negative side:
* Children can lose control, especially when parental supervision is less strict. Remember, it is not necessary in all cases the child may be invited to cooperate. There are times when parents should maintain an absolute stance. When the boy likes to play the Internet, parents must provide strict rules about any sites that should not be visited. The rest, rules such as when a child may surf could be agreed.
* This type also requires energy and a great time, because things should be discussed together.
* The decision seems likely to slow and indecisive.
3. Conflict Avoider
Characteristics:
* Always avoid conflicts with the child. If the child made a mistake or something that is not good, parents do not want to admonish, exhort, rebuke, because the parents do not want their children to anger, fighting, or crying so that they appear to conflict.
* Cuek.
* Not too much talk or reprimand.
* There are not many rules.
* No limit, but what is being done to free the child (permissive).
The positive side:
* Son of freedom to be creative and experiment, so that it can make children creative.
* Relation parent and child are well preserved (harmony).
The negative side:
* Children do not know the rules so they can get out of hand. It could be that he would become a wild child and difficult to manage because the accustomed free to do whatever.
* Children do not learn from previous mistakes.
* Children do not know where the good and bad, right and wrong, and so forth.
* Children are the personal selfish and bossy.
4. Accomodator
Characteristics:
* Always want to adjust, grant, or accommodate the wishes of children. When children want to buy toy cars, dolls, bicycles, or cell phone, parents are always grant it.
* Assumes interwoven relationships is more important than the problem itself.
* Provides freedom for children to communicate, explore, and experiment.
* Not a lot of rules and discipline, because they will curb creativity.
* Flexible.
* Similarly, the conflict avoider, tend antikonflik for the sake of togetherness / maintain relationships with children.
* Do not want her to feel guilt / hurt.
* Easy going, no matter what character he faced trying disesuasikan with drinya. Not too much thought because he is more focused on fun and relationships of others than himself.
The positive side:
* Children feel heard.
* Creativity excavated with optimal child.
* Children dared express an opinion.
* Relation parent and child are well preserved.
The negative side:
* Making the child "wild", because his wish was always granted.
* Children are not disciplined and did not know the rules.
* Not skillful negotiating, because his opinions are always approved without ever denied, aka unskilled argued.
1. Hard Bargainer
Characteristics:
* Type of hardware. If you have opinions and desires, he will defend vigorously.
* Forcing the will because of all the rules at home that he should make.
* Feeling if pendapatnyalah the most correct, most can manage.
* It's hard to listen to other people's opinions especially from children. If not listen, he would ask for good reason from the child.
* Nice to threaten and punish.
The positive side:
* The decision, whether it is instruction or rule can be made with a quick, decisive, and effective.
* The rules in the home can be enforced properly.
* Can trigger a child to train the pattern of thinking. Like asking a reason why he is doing something, the child will think hard to remember his parents express their opinions is difficult to be convinced. If he used to think looking for logical reasons, then he'll get used to creative thinking. Later, when negotiating, the child can reliably menajdi negotiator because he was trained to maintain pedapatnya with logical reasons.
The negative side:
* Children often do not have freedom of expression so that creativity stuck.
* Children who feel constrained to nurture nature to rebel, also feel depressed because of what the parents must be obeyed. Moreover, if the child down the nature of parents' hard bargainer, would often quarrel, because parents want their opinions unruly child conceived while. Commotion, noise that is not handled properly will make the relationship between parents and become strained.
2. Collaborator
Characteristics:
* Emphasizing cooperation. When there are goals to be achieved, parents taking children to come together to achieve goals together. When they would go on vacation, kids are invited to sit together to negotiate a place where the most fit to be the goal, so then decided which is best. In principle, consultation first, decide later.
* Be open with the existing problems. When deciding something, they always consider the wishes of children. Then, when a debate, parents remain focused on the interests and objectives.
The positive side:
* Children can a person who's open and warm to the problems they face, so that the parent-child communication can be established either.
* Relationships with children can be maintained.
* Children feel heard his opinion.
The negative side:
* Children can lose control, especially when parental supervision is less strict. Remember, it is not necessary in all cases the child may be invited to cooperate. There are times when parents should maintain an absolute stance. When the boy likes to play the Internet, parents must provide strict rules about any sites that should not be visited. The rest, rules such as when a child may surf could be agreed.
* This type also requires energy and a great time, because things should be discussed together.
* The decision seems likely to slow and indecisive.
3. Conflict Avoider
Characteristics:
* Always avoid conflicts with the child. If the child made a mistake or something that is not good, parents do not want to admonish, exhort, rebuke, because the parents do not want their children to anger, fighting, or crying so that they appear to conflict.
* Cuek.
* Not too much talk or reprimand.
* There are not many rules.
* No limit, but what is being done to free the child (permissive).
The positive side:
* Son of freedom to be creative and experiment, so that it can make children creative.
* Relation parent and child are well preserved (harmony).
The negative side:
* Children do not know the rules so they can get out of hand. It could be that he would become a wild child and difficult to manage because the accustomed free to do whatever.
* Children do not learn from previous mistakes.
* Children do not know where the good and bad, right and wrong, and so forth.
* Children are the personal selfish and bossy.
4. Accomodator
Characteristics:
* Always want to adjust, grant, or accommodate the wishes of children. When children want to buy toy cars, dolls, bicycles, or cell phone, parents are always grant it.
* Assumes interwoven relationships is more important than the problem itself.
* Provides freedom for children to communicate, explore, and experiment.
* Not a lot of rules and discipline, because they will curb creativity.
* Flexible.
* Similarly, the conflict avoider, tend antikonflik for the sake of togetherness / maintain relationships with children.
* Do not want her to feel guilt / hurt.
* Easy going, no matter what character he faced trying disesuasikan with drinya. Not too much thought because he is more focused on fun and relationships of others than himself.
The positive side:
* Children feel heard.
* Creativity excavated with optimal child.
* Children dared express an opinion.
* Relation parent and child are well preserved.
The negative side:
* Making the child "wild", because his wish was always granted.
* Children are not disciplined and did not know the rules.
* Not skillful negotiating, because his opinions are always approved without ever denied, aka unskilled argued.
parents and children
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